DrewMcNeil.com

I’m so glad there are so many of you to pray for our ministry here. Pretty often I just have days when I don’t feel good about what I’m doing, or don’t feel like I have any kind of impact. I forget the truth of the Gospel and I feel very ‘unspiritual’ and unprepared for the work of the ministry. Many days that can go unnoticed by other. But since I’m teaching at our twice monthly Bible study, there are certain days when it’s a little more apparent. Many times over the last several years, but especially over the last few weeks days like that have been countered by encouraging emails from people who get my updates. I don’t know why it’s been especially true recently, but I am very grateful. I have needed your encouragement and your prayers.

It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in surviving here to the point that I forget why I came. Doing life just takes a lot more energy, and I”m learning that it doesn’t get a whole lot easier, but you do tend to become accustomed to it. Investing in relationships feels heavier at the end of the day than it should. All of my energy some days has gone to navigating the bus system, figuruing out where the package with my Christmas presents went and then why I have to pay so much in customs just to have it delivered, carrying bottles of water 3 blocks or more from the grocery store and wondering why my internet doesn’t work or if it will every stop raining. Those are the days when I need your support. And lately, they’ve been very consistent. I’m very grateful.

I’m also grateful for the fruit we’ve seen. Right now it seems small. Like when our language teachers (both Italian) came to our Thanksgiving party and were amazed that we would be able to gather so many Italian students in one place for a Christian goup’s event. Or it seems big like when Davide, one of the believing students in our movement - the younger brother of our pastor here - had a long conversation with Simona, a girl who has been around for a few years, about trusting Christ and what that really means. Or Adam who stayed around to ask questions for another hour after the Bible study. Or Nico who is a new believer from last year who has begun to study Chinese and could potentially join a Crusade summer project over in that country.

It’s a great blessing to not be in this alone, and to know that God moves despite our efforts, not depending on them. The Bible study tuesday night went really well. The Gospel was presented clearly, and great conversations followed. I would have chosen to reschedule that day. I’m glad we didn’t. I think that’s to the credit of those who were praying. Your work is more valuable than mine.

run a marathon. life goal? maybe. But if that were the case it seems like I could check it off as soon as I cross the finish line. Apparently I’m unable to do that. I’m 0 for 2 in feeling satisfied with my marathon performance. Maybe I shouldn’t be so competitive. But I don’t feel like I’m competing against anyone. Just myself. It’s just hard to not keep trying when I know I can do better. I just have to train a little harder. But that mentality can carry me into an obsession. And there’s nothing appealing to me about becoming a really good marathon runner. They spend way too much time running. I just want to finish with a respectable time. I think.

For those who want more details, I basically started out shooting for a 7:30 pace. I had followed the training program by hal higdon almost exactly, running the longer runs 45 - 90 seconds slower than race pace. Maybe I was mentally prepared to run for more than 3 hours. But my legs were not prepared to maintain that pace for the whole marathon. They gave me around fifteen 7:30 miles, but couldn’t carry me much farther. I noticed myself slowing down, and the pain in my legs steadily growing. The crowds kept passing me. The guys with the 3:30 pace balloons that I had passed not long before, cruised right back by me. And I never saw them again. I walked a lot during the rest of the race, frequently checking my watch and calculating the pace needed to still finish in under 4 hours. At first I thought I had plenty of time. I finally accepted defeat with about 15 minutes left to run the final 2 miles. I would have had to run the pace that had been my original goal. But I knew I couldn’t.

It was hard to swallow. But I had prayed before that I would run with gratitude. I sincerely enjoyed the first hour of the race. It was raining and cold. We had stood in the rain for almost an hour before the race began. My shoes were soaking wet the whole time, but I really felt happy to be running at the beginning. None of that happiness lasted to the end.

I hate making this sound like such a sad experience. That’s the emotion I felt and still feel I guess. But I want to be grateful. It truly is a blessing to even participate in a marathon or to even be able to run at all. I didn’t earn this privilege and I must never stop giving thanks to the Source of all good gifts.

[To begin we looked at about 20 famous sayings, answering whether we thought they were from the Bible or not, then whether they were found in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) or not. It was a trick question because all of the passages were from the Sermon on the Mount.]

The sermon on the mount contains all of these famous sayings. Most people in the room know several of these, some people know almost all of them. And all come from this same passage, that we can say is one of the more famous in all of the Bible. But as we get ready to study it, I want to begin by saying that it’s probably one of the most misunderstood passages in Scripture.

Now I have to back up that statement. I’ll start by suggesting a few ideas that most people think this passage talks about. Many people see it as Jesus spelling out the way to live the Christian life. It’s a formula for becoming a Christian. Or it’s a description of moral Christianity. Others see it as a New Testament Version of the Ten commandments. But I would suggest that none of these explanations is accurate.

First, if it were a description of how to live, then you could likely take pieces of the sermon out of context and apply them individually. But if you look at what is actually taught here, and think about how realistic it is to say that we should actually cut out our eye if it causes us to sin, or we are literally guilty of murder for any angry thought… it becomes a system of laws that is far too heavy to bear. We MUST take the Sermon as a whole, and examine each part in the context of the whole or we will miss the meaning entirely. This is true with much of the Bible if not all of it.

So before we break up for discussion, let me give you a little background on this passage. We find it in Matthew chapters 5-7. We know that Matthew was one of the disciples of Jesus, Levi, the former tax collector. We know that his Gospel is written primarily to the Jews, and talks extensively about the coming Kingdom of God or Kingdom of Heaven. His audience being Jewish, would have been very familiar with talk of the coming Kingdom that had been foretold by the old testament prophets. But the kingdom they were expecting was a Political kingdom. They expected a Messiah to come in and establish Israel as a powerful nation with a King who would reign forever. But Matthew throughout his Gospel tears down that image of a Political kingdom and explains Jesus’ teaching that the Kingdom that is coming is a Spiritual one, not Political.

We see Jesus just before this sermon has been going around… look at verse 23 of chapter 4: And He went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people.

And his teaching continues here in the Sermon on the Mount. It begins with the Beatitudes. Blessed are those…. Let’s look at that section tonight, and discuss the questions.

QUESTIONS for discussion:

How Many beatitudes are there?
How many types of people are described?
Verses 3 and 10 are slightly different from the rest of the beatitudes. What is the difference and why is it important?
Why do you think Jesus began His sermon with the beatitudes?
What does it mean to be poor in spirit?
Why might this be the first of the beatitudes?
What does the second beatitude teach?
What comfort is Jesus talking about?

First we need to answer the question Who is Jesus talking to? Look at verse 2 of chapter 5. His DISCIPLES came to him and sat down and He began to teach them… So He’s talking to His disciples – those who were following Him. Followers of Christ. But then look at the end of the Sermon on the Mount, chapter 7 verse 28. And the CROWDS were astonished… so he was also talking to the crowds… or was He? I think the best explanation is that this teaching was for His disciples, but as He was teaching, more crowds gathered… and He did not stop, but continued to explain what it means to be a follower of Christ, even to those who had not decided to follow Him.

So what’s the main purpose of the Sermon? I wanted to ask this as a discussion question, but without taking time to read the whole sermon it would be unfair to ask that. So I’ll share what I think, and you can study it on your own to see if you agree. I think the main purpose is to explain what it means to follow Christ. Look at verse 11, Blessed are YOU when people… for MY SAKE. He’s clearly talking to His followers, explaining what will happen to them as they follow Him. You are the Salt of the Earth, the Light of the World… That doesn’t apply to all people, but only to those who follow Christ.

And I think He also wants to emphasize that the coming Kingdom is not a political one, but a spiritual one. Why doesn’t He just say that? I think at this point the crowds, and even His disciples don’t’ know that He is the Messiah. Jesus only teaches them things that they are ready to hear.

But I think the main point is that Jesus wants His disciples to understand, and he wants us to understand that following him, and living a life that honors God is not just difficult – it’s impossible. You see that because the things He instructs us to do are simply not possible in our own strength. And it’s apparent from the beginning, especially from the first two beatitudes.

But let’s answer the questions first.
How many Beatitudes are there? 8 Verse 11 is just an elaboration of the last Beatitude which is found in verse 10. We know it’s the last beatitude because it parallels the first.
And how many types of people are described? 1. Jesus is teaching the characteristics of his followers. All these things will be true of those who follow Him.

And we see that the first and last beatitudes, which are in present tense, while all the others are in future tense, describe two identifying characteristics of the Christian. If those two are true, then the others will be true. But at this point we need to deepen our understanding of what they all mean.

Let’s look at the first two beatitudes. Poor in Spirit and Those who Mourn.

What does it mean to be poor in Spirit?
Maybe we should say first what it doesn’t mean: proud, arrogant, self reliant… I think it means humble teachable, conscious of my sin. Actually those are all symptoms of one who is poor in spirit. But a the root, it means someone who is aware that He has nothing to offer to God – neither good works, gifts, money – nothing that would merit His favor. His NEED is very apparent to Him because He sees how Holy God is, and how unable He is to please Him.

And when we think about the Gospel, and when we call Jesus our Savior… it’s clear that unless someone recognizes His NEED for a Savior, He can never benefit from Jesus’ salvation. And when we really understand our NEED, then the result can only be that we become Poor in Spirit. BUT from that condition we RECEIVE Salvation, and we begin to understand GRACE that says WE did nothing to DESERVE God’s love or even His favor, but He poured it out on us anyway. But I didn’t want to get to the good news until the end because we still have to talk about what it means to Mourn.

I think the second beatitude is very closely tied to the first. When we see our NEED, it should cause us to MOURN. We hate that we are unable to please God and we are grieved because of it. But I don’t think Jesus only intends that His followers Mourn their own sin, but also the sin and suffering in the World. It must sadden us. It must literally cause us Pain when we See it. And so we MOURN.

These Beatitudes are given to us in a way as a TEST. We are to examine ourselves. Do I feel poor in Spirit before God? Do I MOURN my sin? Do I MOURN the SIN around me, and in the world? If the answer is no, then this sermon is not for me. But Remember that this Sermon is for all followers of Christ. And if it does not apply to me, then I must not be a follower of Christ. This is a TEST to examine ourselves, and we MUST do so honestly. It does no good to anyone to pretend that we feel these things if we don’t. I’m not saying we should always feel them. Feeling them every once in a while tells us there’s something there. But in the times when we don’t feel poor in spirit or we don’t mourn sin, we need to reexamine ourselves before God. And we must mourn the fact that there are times when we don’t feel these things. It’s a process. We don’t’ change immediately when we decide to follow Christ. But the change MUST happen. And the test of the beatitudes confirms that we are indeed changing. Just like the Kingdom of God is both present and future, the promises of the beatitudes are both present and not yet.

I want to talk briefly about these promises. They are the most beautiful part of the beatitudes. Ours IS the kingdom of heaven. We WILL BE comforted. What comfort is Jesus talking about? There’s the present comfort, that we find in the hope, in the knowledge of the forgiveness of our sins, in the truth that God accepts us, loves us, gives us grace and favor even though we don’t deserve any of these blessings. The truth comforts us. Then there is the promise of the end of time when God “will dry every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death, no more morning, no more crying, no more pain…” That is, there will be the comfort of Heaven.

All the beatitudes end this way, with a promise of something very beautiful. The first part always hurts. It always makes us look within to understand that we are not worthy. Then there is the promise of something incredibly beautiful. These are the beatitudes. They are found at the beginning of the sermon because they lay a foundation for the character of the Christian. Jesus teaches us how each of his followers will become when He has found Salvation.

If we study this sermon well, especially the beatitudes, we’ll understand that we can’t make ourselves like the person Jesus is describing. I cant’ make myself poor in spirit. I can’t make myself mourn. They are things that happen naturally. The are things that show us evidence of a change. And it’s a change that we can’t create in ourselves, but Jesus by the Holy Spirit must do it in us. But the fact that He will is another one of the greatest promises in the Bible. We just have to ask.

So we’ll see in the next few months what the other beatitudes are like – how they tear us down, and how the give us hope.

While we haven’t made plans as a team yet, Sarah and I have been preparing for time together as a team, dreaming and praying about what vision God has given us, and we’ve come up with a very general ministry philosophy that we want to adopt this year. I’ll try to put it into words here.

This semester our focus in ministry will be highly centered on relationships. We’ve always had this emphasis, because the Italian culture is so highly relational, but this semester/year we’re going to explore things that can be more helpful to Italian believers as they (1) engage in ministry where they are currently (2) begin to participate in what we are doing in the cities where we have staff. I talk about the believers in this way because most of the believers in whom we want to invest are not in places where our teams are. We only met most of them in August at the campeggio in Calabria where we helped serve. And we want our ministries to function in a way that when Italians take over leading the ministry the transition will be as smooth as possible. Activities like English Club and Random Initiation are far more awkward within this culture and wouldn’t likely be embraced by Italians. Instead we want to train Italians how to initiate Gospel conversations WITHIN the context of relationships that already exist, and develop methods for continually building new relationships with people God puts into our lives. I think if this nation is to be reached for Christ it will happen from Italians to their friends, not by means of a tract or an outreach.

One approach will likely involve engaging in humanitarian efforts throughout the city. This has been a strong desire of mine, though I’ve never really taken action here in Italy. But there are needs all around us, and I believe that if God has given us resources to meet needs around us (even if meeting those needs requires sacrifice on our part) then we are responsible to meet those needs. (theologically I should explain that God is not demanding this of us, but if He has called us to serve in this way it is as much for our own benefit and growth as for the person we serve, and certainly more for our benefit than for His, but definitely a way to bring Him glory). I think we often neglect needs around us because our focus is on reaching lost Italian college students. But there are tremendous opportunities to serve, to give of ourselves and of our resources that God has given us, and I believe we should. It also fits strategically what we want to do because we want to put ourselves in positions to build relationships and to connect more deeply within the community. Italians are far more likely to engage us in friendship if we have just fed the poor together than if we have approached them randomly and asked them to fill out a spiritual interest survey. So our hope is that each of us will be able to invest in a different group around the city, first with the purpose of serving, and second with the strategic purpose of building relationships with the people we serve, and with the people with whom we serve, and finally with the purpose of sharing Christ within the context of these relationships. We want to learn how to be intentional in those relationships as we share as well, so that we are better prepared to train Italian believers throughout Italy in how to initiate in the context of the relationships in their own lives.

That’s the gist of what we hope to do. It’s still a vision under construction, but it’s one that inspires me, and one that gives me great hope for what might happen through this team this year. We definitely covet your prayers.

So in Florence this week, almost all of the staff and all of the students I know were out of town. At first it was fine because I wanted some rest, but after 3 days of no meaningful conversations with anyone, I was really anxious to be around people again. But during that time I continued listening to Piper’s sermons on Romans 6-8. If you’re familiar with Piper, you know he doesn’t lightly examine any passage. I listen to most of what he had on Romans 6 and there were at least a dozen sermons just on that chapter. I think he spent something like 3 years teaching through the book. Romans 7 started out with the same thoroughness, with a four part series on verses 1-6. The last series really stuck with me. Dead to the Law, Serving in the Spirit is the name of the series. I don’t think I could do the teaching justice if I tried to summarize comprehensively, but here’s a brief overview.

Essentially Piper explains what it means to die to the law, why that’s a good thing, why Paul is passionate about it, why dying to the Law frees us to be loving people, why dying to the law enables us to bear fruit, and why that fruit is the fruit of Love, specifically, serving in Love. Lots of questions he proposes and answers, lots of clarity on living a life as a Christ follower. I recommend this series.

The beholding glory part actually comes from 2 Cor. 3:18 as Piper compares the glory of the Law, to which we must die, to the glory of the New Covenant into which we enter through Christ. This verse was referenced because verse 6 describes dying to the old written code, and living the new life in the Spirit. 2 Cor 3 describes how Moses’ face had to be veiled because of the glory of the law, and compares the old law, which “was being brought to an end” to the ministry of the Spirit, which is permanent. The glory of this ministry is what we behold as we are transformed. Dying to the law means forgetting our Lists of Christian behavior that we try to follow in order to become like Christ, and being Renewed by the Spirit so that we are able to See and Behold Christ. And it is this Beholding of God’s glory that transforms us and makes us more like Christ. And this beholding is our greatest duty as Believers, therefore it should be our greatest pursuit. And not just for ourselves, but we ought also to seek to behold the glory together with other believers. Pointing toward Christ and being pointed toward Him. In Community. Experiencing Transformation. Sanctification.

I share these thoughts not to communicate well the point of the message, but to encourage anyone who is interested to seek out this resource. Piper says that the truths contained in this passage contain the essence of following Christ. “… released from the Law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve not under the old written code, but in the new life of the Spirit.”

I found myself yesterday in the ospedale. the hospital. My first experience with the Italian socialized health care. I’m guessing mine was much better than average. Saturday afternoon around 5 during the month of August when most Italians are still on vacation at the beach is probably the ideal time to be in need of a doctor. Well, except most doctors are on vacation too.

Anyway, I know most of you read hospital and are more concerned with WHY I was there than how my experience was. To ease your concern, it was nothing serious at all. I’m not sick, it wasn’t an emergency. I just have a small injury. From running. Well, not from running so much as from falling.

I’ve been running for a long time, and I don’t remember ever falling while running. Well, there was one time… during a race.. but this is a better story.

In June, I registered for the Florence Marathon which takes place Nov. 30. That’s 14 weeks away. I know that because my training schedule starts 18 weeks before the race date. Unfortunately this training schedule started without me. So I jumped right into the long run of week 4 of the training which happens to be an 11 miler. But I planned to do it slow, so I was optimistic that I could do it. Turns out endurance shouldn’t have been my concern as much as coordination.

I have never run with an ipod or any kind of music or entertainment in general. Generally when you’re running in places like Florence you’re not lacking for scenery, and running isn’t so boring. Apparently yesterday at 6 am, I was in need of more entertainment. Just shy of 6 miles into the run, I convinced myself I need a little variety in my workout. At this point I was beginning to climb up the hill towards Piazzale Michelangelo, which if you’ve been to Florence you know is the large open area overlooking the entire city, possibly the most beautiful views available of the city.

And I was in need of variety.

The road up to the Piazzale is lined on both sides with walking/jogging paths. Parts of the path are asphalt, parts are cobblestone. I always stick to the asphalt, because it’s better for the legs. As it turns out, also on the asphalt section on my side of the hill is a hotel with several driving entrances. These entrances are marked simply with a series of chains connected by two posts each, hanging roughly 2 feet off the ground, situated perpendicular to the path, marking either side of each entrance. I would estimate there are about 12 to 15 altogether. It was exactly what I needed to add a little ‘variety’ to my run. It did not disappoint. My run completely changed after I made the decision to attempt these obstacles. I got way more variety than I needed.

In reality, it’s a little misleading to suggest that I attempted these (pl) obstacles (pl). I didn’t even make it over the first one. It occurs to me now, that it’s likely that making jumps when my legs are fresh requires significantly less effort than when my legs have been running for 45 minutes. But I almost made it. If my shoe were a half size smaller, I wouldn’t be telling this story. And you wouldn’t be laughing at my expense. Maybe I should have waited to include the detail about my injury being small.

I didn’t realize what was happening until my left hand was squarely planted on the ground and I had instinctively tucked my shoulder to roll through the fall, immediately hopped back up as if nothing had happened, and continued jogging, though slightly dazed. I THINK there was a car driving by that stopped for a closer look… and no doubt a laugh. I couldn’t pretend nothing had happened, but I didn’t have to look at them. I knew my hand hurt, but the pain wasn’t too bad. I wasn’t going to stop. But after another 100 yards or so, I realized that blood was running down my hand and leaving dark red dots on my mostly white running shoes. I knew I was at least 4 miles from home, possibly more, I had no desire to quit my run early, but I had to do something. A man on a bike who may or may not have seen the incident stopped to ask if I needed anything. He shared some water to rinse off my hand, and I decided my shirt would be the best option for covering the wound. This wasn’t a simple decision because I never see Italians running without shirts. Running in spandex.. I see that all the time, but shirtless would seem inappropriate. But it was my best option, so I wrapped my shirt (also white) around my hand and kept going.

But I had a long way to go. I had never run this route before, and wasn’t sure how long it would take me to get back. My hope was that it would be 5 miles or less so I could finish my 11 miles and be done. Unfortunately, the road past the piazza was longer than I remembered, and I wasn’t sure about the way back to my apartment from the other side I got to the end of the road at mile 9.5. The only roads I knew that would take me back fastest went right through the middle of town, past the Ponte Vecchio, the Pitti Palace, Piazza della Republica, the Duomo, Piazza San Marco… An American running through italy with his shirt wrapped around his hand dripping in sweat, weaving through the crowds… thankfully there were only a few people out at 7 a.m, and very few of them were Italian.

But I made it back, cleaned myself up the best I could. My biggest concern was that dirt or small pebbles got into the wound, and I couldn’t get them out. I waited most of the day, but decided at the end to see the doctor to make sure it was clean. He aggressively removed all doubt, gave me some medicine, a fresh tetanus shot, and a smile. I do love the element of socialized medicine that makes all that free.

The best part of the story.. well for me, anyway - everyone else probably enjoys the falling part, was that the doctor was a believer. He goes to a church that I’ve attended several times, and he’s familiar with Agape. That NEVER happens.

I made it back to Italy safely. This news is a little late getting to you, and I apologize. I hope no one was worried. I long ago tried to condition my mom not to worry if I don’t call upon arrival. I usually just forget. Though I have done much better in the last few years. She already knows I’m here, don’t worry.

It has been a wild month, though. I left the US on July 28th, landed in Rome on the 29th, trained up to Florence that afternoon, then the next day took a 10 hour train down to Calabria where the Reconciliation church hosted a summer campeggio on the beach for Italian “youth” (age 18-30). Being in a part of the country we dont’ see much, several of our staff took advantage of some free places to stay and a friend with a car to do a little extra traveling, And since about 80% of the Italians in Florence move to the beach for the month there was no reason for us to hurry back. So I just got back to my apartment a couple days ago, and was able to sleep in my own bed for the first time since June 1.

My cure for jet lag was to dive into a service team for the Settimana Biblica, the week preceding the youth Campeggio. My main duty was to wash dishes, which took between 5 and 8 hours each day since meals are so important, and feeding 120 people creates a lot of dirty dishes.. especially since every meal is 3 to 4 courses. We started each morning at 6:30, and the day’s schedule ended at 12:30 a.m. The next week was the same, except I was placed in a room with 12 Italians. That might have been an oversight because anytime someone in charge of the camp found out who my roommates were the responses were always either great surprise, or deep compassion. So my cure for jetlag was to create for myself a stronger reason to feel tired so that jet lag had no room to influence me. Thankfully, the folks running the camp made espresso in abundance each morning and again every afternoon after lunch.

From a ministry perspective, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say this was the best week I’ve had in Italy. 90 Italian college students gathered for worship and teaching and fellowship, under the theme Passione per la Nazione. Passion for the Nation. Reaching Italy for Christ. These are the type of Italians we are praying that God would raise up, and here they are. The camp director really wanted us there so that we could be an example for the students to see that there are people who are qualified to be much more successful in the worlds eyes, but have chosen to follow God’s call and serve Him full time. He really wants to see these youth make the same commitments. We would love to see that too. It’s a little humbling to think that the greatest impact we can have is just showing up. But if that’s what is most helpful, then we’re happy to do it and let God work.

More about the camp later

Hi friends,

I realize it’s been a very long time since my last email update. I have posted a few things on my blog if you’d like more news on what’s been happening.

What compels me most to write now is the need for prayer. Not that significant events are happening, but I find myself in one of those growing periods. At least, I think that’s the case. My hope is that it’s a season that covers this summer, and not something longer. I never enjoy these times, but I’m always very grateful for them when they are over. So my hope as I walk through this, is that you will support me in prayer.

For a chronological update, I’ve been back in the US since June 3rd. Actually it was the 4th - I had a very adventurous trip home; details on the blog. On the 8th I flew down to Orlando for a training program called Xtrack. It’s Crusade’s training for staff going overseas long-term (3-5 years or more). I came home on Friday and went straight to Memphis to participate in the wedding celebration of one of my closest friends. Now I’m back in Tupelo, and will be here until the 28th. Then I’ll take my one way flight to Florence, not knowing exactly when I’ll be coming home.

Back in Italy, I’ll go almost immediately to a small town in the region of Calabria where a network of Italian churches throughout Italy (the Reconciliation movement) will be hosting a summer camp for college students. I think I mentioned that in the last email. I would love prayer for this week that God will allow me and the rest of our staff to build relationships with Italian believers from all over the country, and that through those relationships God would build into these believers and raise up Italian staff to serve full time in the ministry. That’s the long term vision, but the short term prayer request is that those relationships would begin well during the camp from August 3-10.

I’m very grateful for your prayers. But I should be much more grateful. I’m afraid that’s probably why my emails have been so much more infrequent. I want to explain more about that, and other reasons I feel like this is a growing period, but I’ll add it at the end because I’ve learned that during those explanations I get very wordy, and I know not everyone has time to read the mini novels I tend to send out.

So thank you for your partnership. Thank you for your commitment to God’s work in Italy. I really need prayer, and it’s a tremendous blessing to have a group of friends who are there to meet that need. You are a tremendous blessing. Thank you.

Drew

I realize some people would feel more comfortable with me as a missionary if I only shared positive things and never let on that I still have a lot to learn about following Christ. If you’re one of those, please don’t read further. if you’re ok with the fact that the Lord still has much to teach me, then read on to know how to pray for me more specifically. If you don’t have time to read them all, you could choose one of the 4 topics and just pray for that area specifically.

Growing pains. I guess there’s a reason you never hear about growing joys. But the growth eventually does produce joy. I’m anxious for that day. The things I’m learning aren’t overwhelmingly painful, but they’re certainly not fun, and they are very very humbling.
As I’m thinking about this growing process, it’s tempting to describe these lessons as if they are things I have learned and offer neat conclusions at the end. But the truth is that most of these are things I’m still wrestling with and as much as I’d like to have figured them out, I want to continue to experience them until God has produced the fruit He intends. And I think you’ll be more compelled to pray for me if the need is current rather than past.

Trusting the Lord. You’d think I’d have this figured out by now. It’s kind of my job, right? But I realized this summer through certain circumstances that it’s really hard for me to just wait on the Lord and trust His timing. I tend to be very focused on the task. I see life in terms that are often too simple. There’s a problem, I want to find a solution, then implement that solution immediately. I think it’s that tendency that made engineering appealing to me in college. But there’s a need for control that is implied in that approach to life. But sometimes I just have to let go. You’d think after 3 years of ministry in Italy I’d be less inclined to need to control things. Apparently I’m still learning. Please pray for me proverbs 3:5-6

Believing God’s love for me. So these themes are very general and very foundational to following Christ. Trust the Lord, receive His love… How can I be in full time Christian ministry with these issues? These are things that I know to be true. But I think there’s a difference between knowing something to be true and really believing it. I think that belief necessarily affects behavior. Knowledge alone does not. So these things I know to be true must connect to my heart and produce belief. Often I feel a need to earn God’s love for me. I know that He loves me, but I have a harder time believing that He wants to love me. I think He should be obligated because of the promises of Scripture. But I also see what’s in my own heart and know that He really shouldn’t love me because of the sin that is there. So the result is that I have a hard time receiving blessings from Him, or I feel a need to prove myself worthy of those blessings by being obedient and avoiding sin. It’s a very poor understanding of Grace. And I have seen growth in this area this summer in my attitude towards God. But I long to believe more deeply in the reality of His love for me. Please pray for that believe to grow deep roots into my heart.

Two more items.
The first is connected to the previous one. Proving myself worthy. I think the motivation behind this is tied to a misunderstanding of who God is, but also, more subtly, a desire not to need God. I want to be independent. I want God’s love, I want His blessings. But I dont’ want to be a burden to Him. I want to be worthy of His love, so I work hard, and I hate my sin, and I feel guilt in an unhealthy way when I fall short of what I perceive as my ability to be obedient. I grieve my failure to achieve a standard of perfection more than I grieve my offense against my Father. One sad aspect of this is that if my grief was in offending God, it’s far easier to alleviate that grief with truth from the Scriptures about God removing my sin from me as far as the east is from the west, and many other passages that confirm God’s mercy. But I have a hard time assuaging guilt that I feel for disappointing myself. I think I hang on to this need to meet a standard because I want to convince myself that I am worthy of God’s love. But I forget that the opposite is true. God is glorified by how much I need Him. My neediness doesn’t change, but my understanding of my neediness does. The more I realize how dependent on the Lord I am, the more He will be honored. Fighting to maintain my own standards so I don’t feel my own neediness works directly against my progress towards becoming like Christ, and fully dependent on God.

The last is something I believe the Enemy has been working into my life for a while. I noticed this weekend during the wedding festivities that I have begun to feel very uncomfortable in social situations. I found that I’m comfortable responding to questions about my time in Italy, but I have a harder time inquiring from others about their own lives. I know that in one on one situations that are more relaxed I feel fine asking deeper questions and building into relationships. but since most of my ministry opportunities in Italy involve random meetings with students and very brief conversations, I must be more comfortable asking good questions about their lives and doing so because I really care. I think the root is self-centeredness. Gradually over the last few years have become very introspective and self focused. I see it especially in social situations, and I find myself forgetting to care about the people around me. Maybe I’ve always been this way and am just now realizing it. But regardless of how long it’s been true of me, I have a great need to become more others-focused so that I can be more aware of the needs of people around me, and see more easily opportunities to point others to Christ. Please pray Philippians 2:1-11 for me.

I guess that’s a lot. choose one if you like and I’ll keep you updated on what the Lord does. Thanks for reading this far. It is a great blessing that you care enough to read this email. Thank you.

Drew

I’m back in Mississippi. I’ll be here until the 28th, then flying back to Italy. It’s possible that this next trip will begin a full year and a half before I come home at all. If I don’t make it back for Christmas this year, then it’s very likely that Christmas 2009 will be the soonest I get on a plane coming back to the States. That’s a strange thought. But I have to consider Italy my home now. I was in a wedding this weekend and for my hometown the program listed Tupelo. But in reality, I have an address in Florence, Italy that, unless something changes, will be my home address for the next several years. My plan is even to become an Italian resident as soon as I can because living there requires being a resident for certain things like opening a bank account and getting a drivers’ license. It does seem strange. All of my moves to Italy in the past had an end date. This one doesn’t.
Recently my parents came to Orlando to visit me during the family weekend that was part of the training I was doing this summer. Many people asked my mom how she felt about me going over to Italy long-term. She said that she’s pretty used to the idea by now since I’ve gone over so many times already. But she pointed out that when I bought a one-way ticket it made things feel a little more real to her that this term is indefinite.

I’ve found myself inviting more and more people to visit me in Florence. Maybe it’s because for the first time I don’t have roommates and can freely offer a place to stay without having to check with anyone else. But maybe it’s because I sense that I won’t be coming home nearly as often as I have been the last few years, and the best chance for me to see friends from home will be when they (y’all) come visit.

But the last 5 years went by really fast. I have no reason to think the next 3-5 won’t also. But don’t let that keep you from coming to visit.

Xtrack is the training required for Crusade staff going overseas long term. Seems like I’ve already been there long term, but only by accumulation of short term commitments. Now it’s more official. And soon I’ll be more prepared.

Most of the training isn’t new. It is more concentrated in this setting. Between all the briefing and training I’ve done over the last 5 years, I’ve seen most of the material before. But our leadership is always learning and my ability to understand is always changing as well. I can learn the concepts in a better context because i”m much more familiar with my host culture (Italy).

This morning we were putting into perspective the mission. Most of us here are campus staff. That means we work with college students. But college students aren’t the ultimate goal. Bill Bright, when he began the ministry in 1951 believed that “if you reach the campus today, you’ll reach the world tomorrow.” The point is that his goal was to reach the world. That’s not just Bill Bright’s goal, but that’s the ultimate goal of God in creation. Not simply to ‘reach’ the world, but to be revealed to the world, that they may know Him, and worship.

I’m forever challenged by John Piper’s claim that “missions exist because worship doesn’t”. We were created to reflect God’s glory. also from Piper: “He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” God’s glory is revealed in our being satisfied in Him, meaning His greatest passion results in great joy for us, which we express in Worship. That’s our mission. Whatever we do, point the world toward the one True God and Creator, who is eternally beautiful, in whom are pleasures forevermore. All we can do is point. God must let them see. What a glorious day it will be when we all see clearly. And how beautiful will be the worship that follows.

That is such a compelling picture for me. Yet I can’t say I’m filled with passion for Italy today. I will be grateful for your prayers that I will again be filled with that passion, and the vision for how I can play a role in pointing Italians toward their Creator God.

I’m back in Mississippi. And there are things I really appreciate about that. First, that home is comfortable. Air conditioning, carpet, very clean. Second, everything is so green here. I miss front yards. Then, this time more than any other, I appreciate that I actually made it after a long day of travels. It was such an adventure I thought it would merit a blog entry.

Tuesday June 3.
Reservation for a 6:35am Lufthansa flight from Florence to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Chicago O’Hare, Chicago to Memphis arriving at 5:22 pm CST. My teammate Marti, from Yazoo City, is booked on the same flight all the way home.
4:30 alarm goes off.
5:00 Gary arrives offering a ride to the Airport. He already picked up Marti on the way.
5:20 arrive at Florence Airport and learn that the Frankfurt leg has been canceled, begin waiting in line to rebook.
7:00 still waiting in the same line. Marti goes to the ticket window to see if it’s faster. We’re communicating through cell phones as the situation progresses.
7:55 Marti reaches the front of her line, the ticket agent promises bookings for both of us, so I leave my position in the original line.
8:15 tickets in hand, rerouted on Swiss Air through Zurich, leaving at 9:25. Stop in Chicago, connecting through Northwest to Memphis. Neither Northwest nor Swiss Air have any affiliation with Lufthansa.
9:30 boarding in Florence
10:45 arrival in Zurich.
11:55 tempted by the Swiss chocolates. Gifts for family and friends, whatever isn’t eaten on the flight, that is.
12:15 paid $15 for a sandwich and a bottle of water.
12:55 boarding for Chicago. nicest international flight I’ve ever been on. But landed with terrible headache and a little nausea.
3:35 arrival at Chicago O’Hare. Should have rented a car to drive home. Arrive at Terminal 5.
3:50 through customs on our way to the Northwest desk in Terminal 2.
4:00 more waiting in line, Northwest check in desk.
4:15 Northwest agent informs us that our flight to Memphis has been canceled. We have to go back to United/Lufthansa to be rerouted or we can wait for the next Northwest flight the next morning at 9 am.
4:20 moving to Terminal 1 to the United desk.
4:30 waiting in line again at United. Longest line of the day. We split up and I go to the Lufthansa ticket desk. 6 people in line v. about 300 in front of Marti. No way to communicate.
5:00 I reach the desk, find a very helpful agent. We are rebooked on an American flight leaving at 9:15 pm, or so we think.
5:20 ticket receipts in hand, we move to the American desk for boarding passes. Terminal 3.
5:30 Sympathetic lady at American gives us our boarding passes, and points out the near impossibility that our luggage will follow us to Memphis after all these changes. Sends us to the Northwest desk.
5:55 Terminal 2 again. Northwest desk. Another very kind lady calls baggage claim and arranges for our bags to be re routed to the American flight.
6:15 Back in Terminal 3, moving towards the gate. We both qualified for the bonus screening in security. Boarding is at 8:45. So they say.
6:45 medicine for nausea, sleeping on the floor in the waiting area of the gate. 20 minutes or so.
7:30 some food, some medicine for the headache. Feeling optimistic. Almost home.
7:35 gate change, 40 minute delay announced.
9:30 still at the gate waiting to board.
10:00 finally boarding. ETA 11:55
10:45 still waiting on runway. Pilot announces a potential different route to avoid the fog. Taxi back to Terminal 3 to refuel.
11:15 pilot announces that the flight has been canceled due to weather.
11:25 talking to the American desk about another flight, hotel vouchers. 6:45 the next morning for the flight. American offers discounted hotels, but aren’t obligated to more for me or Marti since they didnt’ cancel our first flight and this one was weather related. Too late to risk going to Lufthansa. We take the hotel because it has a free shuttle, and plan to contact Lufthansa about reimbursement.
11:50 found the shuttle pick up. No shuttle. We call the hotel. Shuttle has stopped running, they offer a number for a cab service. At least it will take us there the next morning. No, earliest shuttle is 5:30, “you’d be pushing it.”
12:00 we walk halfway back to the terminal to inquire about the free cots provided by the airport. Hotels were getting too expensive. The thought of not getting cots compelled us to just take the cab and the hotel. Turned out to be a good decision.
12:15 cab arrives. We split with 2 other stranded passengers.
1:00 check into the hotel
1:20 finally able to lay in a bed 28 hours after waking up in Florence.
4:50am. wake up call. Shower. I decided the shower was worth the full price of the hotel. Feeling somewhat fresh, willing to take the risk with the 5:30 shuttle.
5:35 shuttle leaves after a round of enthusiastic “good morning! I can’t hear you…” from the shuttle driver. At 5:35 in the morning.
6:15 back in security. Bonus screening again. flight is boarding as the security man makes casual conversation and thoroughly searches my carry on.
6:35 walking briskly to the gate, still surprised that the display board says the flight will leave “on time” but still hasn’t started boarding yet.
7:00 flight boards. on the runway. cautious optimism creeping in.
9:05 landing in Memphis. All our bags miraculously arrive with us. On our way home.
10:30 my parents and I arrive home.

3 canceled flights. 36 hours of travel. Thankfully we reached a point in Chicago where it was so incredible it was amusing. We almost hoped the shuttle would arrive late and we’d miss the next flight just to make the story better. But we both made it home. And I’m thankful.

Here are some thoughts from the talk on mark 8. I found the study of this chapter very interesting.

We actually picked up with verse 22 and read to the end of the chapter. The story of the healing of the blind man. This is the one where Jesus needed to touch the man 2 times before the man could see clearly. my campus directer Gary pointed out to me that this story paired with another story of the healing of a blind man at the end of chapter 10 sections off a series of events that reveal the blindness of the disciples in the midst of 3 separate occasions in which Jesus clearly explains to them the role of the Messiah. Also in this section we find the transfiguration. And immediately following the second story of the blind man we have Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem.

We began with an observation that the question of Jesus identity is one of the most significant questions in history, and one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves. But we didnt’ dwell there, because the text begs explanation that moves us in a different direction.

It’s incredible to think of Peter, having just made the right confession that Jesus is the Christ, tries to rebuke Him when He explains to them what the Christ must suffer. And Jesus puts him in his place telling him that his mind is “set on the things of man, not on the things of God.” I think the reason Jesus said this was because of the way Peter must have rebuked Him. We can imagine that Peter, being a well taught Jewish man, was familiar with the prophesies of the Messiah. He was to come in power, destroying the enemies of Israel, restoring the people of God to her rightful place, and establishing a kingdom that will never end. Obviously this didn’t line up with what Jesus was saying about suffering, dying, being raised after 3 days. Peter clearly assumed that Jesus was mistaken. His mind was on the things of man. In this case, the things of man were perceived as things of God. But Peter was so convinced that “man” had been correct, that his Jewish teachers and the Pharisees were correct in their interpretation of the way in which the Messiah would come, that when the Messiah Himself was speaking plainly to him, he assumed the Messiah was the one who was mistaken.

At this point we understand better the juxtaposition of the story of the healing of the blind man. Peter had confessed that Jesus was the Christ, but he still didn’t see clearly. Jesus touched the blind man once, but he didn’t see clearly until He had touched him a second time. Jesus didn’t make a mistake here. And Mark didn’t write his Gospel in this order by accident.

How many people live today having confessed that Jesus is the Christ, but don’t see clearly enough to live a life that honors God? And Jesus explains to us in verses 34-38 what such a life looks like. The problem is that we don’t see clearly enough. And I think there are two causes. One is that we received the first touch from Jesus and didn’t stick around for more. We named Him Savior of our souls and immediately ran off to live life. We heard a simple Gospel and immediately became experts, having figured out life, found peace and eternal security, but we didn’t sit long enough for it to become clear. But then the disciples had been around Jesus for a long time at this point. He’s just 2 chapters from Palm Sunday, which begins the last week of probably 3 years of ministry. The disciples had been around Him a long time, and even they didn’t get it. How then can we hope to really understand?

I think one big difference is that we have the rest of the story. We know why Jesus had to suffer and die, and be raised. And we couldn’t be more grateful. The disciples didn’t have the same information. They didn’t know the ending. We have it available to study and to learn and to gain understanding so that we can see clearly. The actual ending we still don’t know. But we will someday. For now we have the calling to deny ourselves, to take up our cross and follow Christ.

The last point I wanted to make on Tuesday was that we cling much too tightly to the things of man. Like Peter who held so tightly to his understanding of the Messiah, we often refuse to let go of our own understanding of certain things in life. Look at Mormonism and the Jehova’s Witnesses. They didn’t begin with truth, but they created or manipulated new truth to support what they wanted to believe. Look at people who want to say homosexuality is ok. They don’t want truth, they want to cling to their own desires and reject the real source of truth for the sake of pleasing man, or pleasing themselves.

We can see clearly. But it takes more than one touch. And it takes a mentality that accepts truth whether it is pleasant or not - even if it isn’t in agreement with man and what we have always been taught. If we want to answer the question about Who Jesus is, we have to go after truth. And we may have to let go of what we want to believe. But we can be confident that if Truth about Jesus is different from what we expected, it’s different in a good way. The Truth will always be better for us.