latest email update
Posted by Drew | Filed under ministry updates
Hi friends,
I realize it’s been a very long time since my last email update. I have posted a few things on my blog if you’d like more news on what’s been happening.
What compels me most to write now is the need for prayer. Not that significant events are happening, but I find myself in one of those growing periods. At least, I think that’s the case. My hope is that it’s a season that covers this summer, and not something longer. I never enjoy these times, but I’m always very grateful for them when they are over. So my hope as I walk through this, is that you will support me in prayer.
For a chronological update, I’ve been back in the US since June 3rd. Actually it was the 4th - I had a very adventurous trip home; details on the blog. On the 8th I flew down to Orlando for a training program called Xtrack. It’s Crusade’s training for staff going overseas long-term (3-5 years or more). I came home on Friday and went straight to Memphis to participate in the wedding celebration of one of my closest friends. Now I’m back in Tupelo, and will be here until the 28th. Then I’ll take my one way flight to Florence, not knowing exactly when I’ll be coming home.
Back in Italy, I’ll go almost immediately to a small town in the region of Calabria where a network of Italian churches throughout Italy (the Reconciliation movement) will be hosting a summer camp for college students. I think I mentioned that in the last email. I would love prayer for this week that God will allow me and the rest of our staff to build relationships with Italian believers from all over the country, and that through those relationships God would build into these believers and raise up Italian staff to serve full time in the ministry. That’s the long term vision, but the short term prayer request is that those relationships would begin well during the camp from August 3-10.
I’m very grateful for your prayers. But I should be much more grateful. I’m afraid that’s probably why my emails have been so much more infrequent. I want to explain more about that, and other reasons I feel like this is a growing period, but I’ll add it at the end because I’ve learned that during those explanations I get very wordy, and I know not everyone has time to read the mini novels I tend to send out.
So thank you for your partnership. Thank you for your commitment to God’s work in Italy. I really need prayer, and it’s a tremendous blessing to have a group of friends who are there to meet that need. You are a tremendous blessing. Thank you.
Drew
I realize some people would feel more comfortable with me as a missionary if I only shared positive things and never let on that I still have a lot to learn about following Christ. If you’re one of those, please don’t read further. if you’re ok with the fact that the Lord still has much to teach me, then read on to know how to pray for me more specifically. If you don’t have time to read them all, you could choose one of the 4 topics and just pray for that area specifically.
Growing pains. I guess there’s a reason you never hear about growing joys. But the growth eventually does produce joy. I’m anxious for that day. The things I’m learning aren’t overwhelmingly painful, but they’re certainly not fun, and they are very very humbling.
As I’m thinking about this growing process, it’s tempting to describe these lessons as if they are things I have learned and offer neat conclusions at the end. But the truth is that most of these are things I’m still wrestling with and as much as I’d like to have figured them out, I want to continue to experience them until God has produced the fruit He intends. And I think you’ll be more compelled to pray for me if the need is current rather than past.
Trusting the Lord. You’d think I’d have this figured out by now. It’s kind of my job, right? But I realized this summer through certain circumstances that it’s really hard for me to just wait on the Lord and trust His timing. I tend to be very focused on the task. I see life in terms that are often too simple. There’s a problem, I want to find a solution, then implement that solution immediately. I think it’s that tendency that made engineering appealing to me in college. But there’s a need for control that is implied in that approach to life. But sometimes I just have to let go. You’d think after 3 years of ministry in Italy I’d be less inclined to need to control things. Apparently I’m still learning. Please pray for me proverbs 3:5-6
Believing God’s love for me. So these themes are very general and very foundational to following Christ. Trust the Lord, receive His love… How can I be in full time Christian ministry with these issues? These are things that I know to be true. But I think there’s a difference between knowing something to be true and really believing it. I think that belief necessarily affects behavior. Knowledge alone does not. So these things I know to be true must connect to my heart and produce belief. Often I feel a need to earn God’s love for me. I know that He loves me, but I have a harder time believing that He wants to love me. I think He should be obligated because of the promises of Scripture. But I also see what’s in my own heart and know that He really shouldn’t love me because of the sin that is there. So the result is that I have a hard time receiving blessings from Him, or I feel a need to prove myself worthy of those blessings by being obedient and avoiding sin. It’s a very poor understanding of Grace. And I have seen growth in this area this summer in my attitude towards God. But I long to believe more deeply in the reality of His love for me. Please pray for that believe to grow deep roots into my heart.
Two more items.
The first is connected to the previous one. Proving myself worthy. I think the motivation behind this is tied to a misunderstanding of who God is, but also, more subtly, a desire not to need God. I want to be independent. I want God’s love, I want His blessings. But I dont’ want to be a burden to Him. I want to be worthy of His love, so I work hard, and I hate my sin, and I feel guilt in an unhealthy way when I fall short of what I perceive as my ability to be obedient. I grieve my failure to achieve a standard of perfection more than I grieve my offense against my Father. One sad aspect of this is that if my grief was in offending God, it’s far easier to alleviate that grief with truth from the Scriptures about God removing my sin from me as far as the east is from the west, and many other passages that confirm God’s mercy. But I have a hard time assuaging guilt that I feel for disappointing myself. I think I hang on to this need to meet a standard because I want to convince myself that I am worthy of God’s love. But I forget that the opposite is true. God is glorified by how much I need Him. My neediness doesn’t change, but my understanding of my neediness does. The more I realize how dependent on the Lord I am, the more He will be honored. Fighting to maintain my own standards so I don’t feel my own neediness works directly against my progress towards becoming like Christ, and fully dependent on God.
The last is something I believe the Enemy has been working into my life for a while. I noticed this weekend during the wedding festivities that I have begun to feel very uncomfortable in social situations. I found that I’m comfortable responding to questions about my time in Italy, but I have a harder time inquiring from others about their own lives. I know that in one on one situations that are more relaxed I feel fine asking deeper questions and building into relationships. but since most of my ministry opportunities in Italy involve random meetings with students and very brief conversations, I must be more comfortable asking good questions about their lives and doing so because I really care. I think the root is self-centeredness. Gradually over the last few years have become very introspective and self focused. I see it especially in social situations, and I find myself forgetting to care about the people around me. Maybe I’ve always been this way and am just now realizing it. But regardless of how long it’s been true of me, I have a great need to become more others-focused so that I can be more aware of the needs of people around me, and see more easily opportunities to point others to Christ. Please pray Philippians 2:1-11 for me.
I guess that’s a lot. choose one if you like and I’ll keep you updated on what the Lord does. Thanks for reading this far. It is a great blessing that you care enough to read this email. Thank you.
Drew
jan 26 update
Posted by Drew | Filed under ministry updates
Huge week. It’s as if all of the ministry opportunities I’ve pursued are all beginning to bear fruit at the same time. Here’s a quick summary.
Two groups I wanted to pursue are the Kappa Sigmas and the Ultimate Frisbee club team. I was planning to go to Chapter last Wednesday, but Ultimate practice got moved to Monday and Wednesday, meaning I would have to choose one or the other. So I called the KS pres. and asked him if there was a way for me to be involved other than coming to chapter. He suggested I come to the executive meetings where he meets with the officers on Sunday nights. And I think that’s a lot better because rather than trying to somewhat get to know 80 guys, I can now focus on getting to know a much smaller number, and they happen to be the leaders in the fraternity. As a result of that decision, I was able to go to practice that night and really began to feel like I am a part of the team there. I really felt like God was confirming that direction for me. And then this week I had even more confirmation that I’ll get to later.
Thursday, Chris (from my staff team) had a lunch appointment with two freshmen. I also had a lunch appointment with two freshmen. Our ministry had been hoping to put together a new freshman community group so we decided to combine our appointments. I also had two other names of guys who might be interested, so I called them and invited them to lunch. Every one was able to make it and everyone was interested in forming a community. So we got together again on Monday to cook burgers and to get things kicked off and talk about expectations for the group. These boys are studs. I’m really excited about this group.
That same day I had an appointment with the lady in charge of the East Alabama Food Bank. I was referred to her by a pastor of a church here with whom I met on Monday. I’ll tell you more about that at the end of the email.
The weekend was great. We had a leadership retreat to talk and pray about the semester with our student leaders. About 20 of them came, including Brennan and Philip, who are the two freshmen I’ve been meeting with, and who I have been hoping would begin to feel connected to the ministry here. It was a very relaxed weekend, and I discovered that I still remember how to build a bonfire from my days at Camp Lake Stephens.
Saturday night I moved into my new residence. A family here in Auburn has very generously given me a rent free place to live. I moved in with their son, and all the furniture I need is already there. So thanks again to all who offered to help me find furniture. At the time I thought I’d be moving into an empty one bedroom apt, but things have worked out to where I will have a roommate, and a fully furnished place. And the first few nights there have been really good.
Sunday night the KS executive meeting didn’t happen, but the president did call to ensure me that he wanted to include me in those meetings in the future.
Monday was the first freshman community group meeting. Ultimate Frisbee practice was cancelled due to weather.
Wednesday I had another meeting with a lady who runs the Mercy Ministry through Auburn UMC. More about that later.
That night I went to practice (by the way, I’m practicing with a team that travels to tournaments once or twice a month, none of which am I eligible to play in because I’m not a student). Practice was good. My knee seems to have completely healed. My white boy mad hops have finally returned. But I need to find a better stretching routine because I’m dealing with a lot of soreness lately. (probably more information than you needed — sorry) But the best part was going to dinner with three of the guys after practice. ( I still don’t’ understand who would make CiCi’s pizza the meal of choice following a couple hours of running around… Yet another distinction between college freshman and an old guy like me.) As soon as we sat down with our food we dove into a spiritual conversation. I didn’t even initiate it. One of the guys it seems is being pursued by God at the moment because he’s reading More Than a Carpenter at the request of one of his other friends. He said he would stop by the office today. But I’m still waiting on him. Either way it was a very natural conversation, and I pray opened some doors for more discussions in the future. It definitely confirmed that the ultimate frisbee team is a wise investment for me, ministry-wise.
OK, Food bank… Mercy Ministry… Remember how I said I was praying about a vision God had given me for being a good steward with the money made available by my not having to pay rent? (If you dont’, I’m not offended. I realize many (most (all)) of you have enough important things going on to not remember a small detail from one of my emails..) So I would like to describe the entire situation for you, but I’m already over my space limit for this email, and probably should end it now. But I do desire input from people who might have experience in this area. Basically, I feel like God has given me a vision for investing in a needy family in the community. I’ve arrived at this vision through a lot of different circumstances and convictions. Not all my convictions are personal. And some may even be misguided, but I pray they are not. But I believe I have done very little in my life to help people around me that I have the time and resources to help. My job is to share the Gospel, but part of that, if not all, is in action and deed. So I’ve done some research and I have found a family in need that I believe I can help. I’ve been advised to not talk to them about money I have available at first, but rather seek ways I can help the family using my time and energy and other resources. If there is an occasion to help financially, then I’ll consider that option then. The plan is to pour into the life of this family, spending time with them, serving them, praying for them, helping in whatever way I can, and sharing Christ with them. Investing. That’s a common theme I’m seeing in the places I feel called lately. I think potentially this could be the most challenging ministry I’ve ever been a part of. But I think that means it could also be the most rewarding.
And I’m hoping that I can recruit other families to do this with me. I know I’ll need at least a few students to help me with the family I’ll be trying to help. But I think there are plenty of families who need help, and also plenty of families who would respond to a challenge to help them.
I realize that this theory is tainted with idealism. I expect reality to set in powerfully. But I’m not interested in holding back. If I’m going to fail I dont want it to be for lack of effort. I believe this is from the Lord. And I want to be obedient. I expect this to be a learning experience. Maybe a painful one.
I’m sure many of you have concerns. A couple disclaimers. This is not a change in focus for me. I see this as something I’ll do on the side. It’s a way of plugging into the community outside of the campus ministry, which is my primary focus, and my primary calling. But I do see potential to involve students, and I would love to make that happen. Ok, maybe just one disclaimer.
Any insight or advice or criticism is very welcome. I’ll take all the help/prayers/wisdom/scolding
Thanks for reading this far. I apologize for the length. I really can’t imagine every week will be this eventful, so please dont think I’ve fallen back into the habit of unreasonably long emails.you are all very valuable to this ministry.
Thank you.
Drew
